Apprehension was beginning to replace excitement as our pre match build up mood, although this week we felt we were in with a shout of a result against Ji Sung Park the Bus thanks to their iffy record so far (a narrow win and a forfeit) and Janek returning from his soul searching soya sabbatical. His flatmate and our fellow Durty Matthew Bycroft-a dubious character, *that* person in the friend group that pauses Fifa when his opponent is through on goal-proposed a team trip to the newly opened Strathsport steam room for a spot of team exfoliation and bonding. His eager pitch was extremely off-putting, and consequently he steamed alone. Monday reared its ugly head and we were determined to put to rest Gary Lineker's adage of '5-a-side is a simple game. 10 men chase a ball for 60 minutes and at the end, the Durties always lose'. We would continue with our much improved set up and box formation that bore fruit at both ends of the pitch, although we would be rotating in goal as our goalkeeper Ian Robinson had flown to Canada in protest at me accidentally describing our second goal against the Baku Boys in my first blog post as an own goal when in fact, after conceding 30, he had come outfield and scored a rocket. His absence would be felt tonight.
So far we had been unfortunate to come unstuck against a team of Galactico's and a team with Brazilian Ronaldo, but upon arriving at Powerleague and sizing up our opponents we knew we were in for a tight scrap. The first 5 minutes set the tone, with Janek putting in several meaty challenges, and no quarter given by either side. Inexplicably however, we then managed to piece together what will no doubt be the worst 20 minutes of our season so far-erroneous passing, schoolboy defending and just all round pathetic play; basically Dundee United for the past 3 years-and were 15-4 down after only half an hour gone, against the worst team we had played so far. At this stage everyone's internal hairdryer treatment kicked in and, with nothing to lose, we decided to lump Janek and Bycroft upfront. A move of desperation that gave birth to the best striker pairing since Bendtner and Chamakh. The complementation of flatmates Janek, a seed powered battering ram, and Bycroft, a water vapour obsessed ballerina, caused havoc in the Ji Sung Park the Bus defence and we began to claw our way back into the game. Before you could say 'Gary Lineker shags crisps' we had brought it back to within 3 and the momentum was all with the Durties. Step forward Karius.
Our goalkeeper rotation policy for the night previously undisturbed, it all came crashing down as a Durty with zero goalkeeping experience was thrust into the unforgiving spotlight of the goalkeeping position. It all started with a straightforward shot that somehow squeezed underneath him, and from there Karius acquiesced to outdo himself. 3 more errors later, the highlight of which was a muddle up from a pass back that goal line technology confirmed crossed the line, and the Durty bubble was well and truly burst. A thunderbastard from yours truly with the final kick of the game was no consolation. 20-15 the final score. The trend of improvement continues but with nothing to show for it, the table is looking bleak. Make sure to tune in to the next post though, as the Durties' fortunes may just be about to change...
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