It started off as an idea. A suggestion in the group chat. The pastime of many a group of pals that don't really have much to do with their leisure time: a 5-a-side football team. As it was put forward in the Strathclyde Tennis Facebook group, a rag tag team of enthusiastic but inexperienced 5-asiders were assembled and consensually anointed Graeme Murty's Durties. A streaming giant - that will remain un-named - was contacted to provide this exclusive behind the scenes look at a potentially history defining season from the Durties. This blog - All for Nothing - is the result of their endorsement, and I hope it will provide a satisfying and enjoyable carriage on the rollercoaster that our season is already turning into.
Game 1 is probably the best place to start, but for us it couldn't have provided a more formidable challenge. We kicked off our campaign against the best team in the league, the Baku Boys, who boasted an embarrassment of riches all over the park-a couple of them had played at junior level for football clubs, and all of them had played 5-a-side together for years. This combination of Arab investment and squad experience was daunting, and our preparation couldn't have gone much worse as we didn't really do any. Unfit, naive and with no tactical plan, the Durties met together at Glasgow Powerleague on a cold Monday night for the first time, £2.50 each coughed up. You will be introduced to each member of the squad in due course, but I'm not sure any Durty will want to be named and shamed in this post considering the shambles that ensued once we kicked off. Chasing shadows from the off, our lack of structure, technical ability, and fitness began to cost us dear and we were swiftly 15-0 down - 5 goals over the forfeit score - within 20 minutes. The Baku Boys were turning the screw and exposing our considerable failings, and a goal for the Durty's seemed like it would never materialise. Step forward Janek (I'm naming and shaming), our resident vegan, punishing a loose pass out from their goalkeeper. Normal service resumed soon after however, an own goal doubling our goal haul sparking wild celebrations in the away end. With the score at 27-2, a Baku Boy sub took pity on us and gave us a quick 5-a-side tactical brief, setting up our team from the sideline. The rejuvenated Durties taking to the field, we only conceded 6 goals in the last 20 minutes, for a tight final scoreline of 33-2. 'It was men against boys' Alan Shearer angrily declared on Match of the Day later that night. The stats made for grim reading: a goal conceded approximately every 2 mins, a goal scored every half hour, and a practically untenable goal difference of -31. Stats can be misleading though, and the Durties were able to take some positives away from the performance-still only 3 points off top spot and well in the title hunt, with plenty of time to bring our goal difference back to 0. A good end of season goal to aim for.
Our most difficult game out of the way, the Durties aimed to consolidate, do far more preparation and go again next week, safe in the knowledge that the Baku Boys would probably thrash every team in the league-the important thing would be to beat the teams in and around us. Onwards and upwards.
instagram: murtysdurties55
Great read man, makes that 'All Or Nothing' rip off look like something a caley student might churn out on a thursday morning. 10/10.
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